General Archives - Debbie Gentry

Fighting Loneliness During Quarantine

June 8, 2020 by Debbie Gentry Leave a Comment

Not many of us have ever experienced the kind of isolation that this COVID-19 pandemic has brought about. While quarantine for some has been a welcomed break from the hustle and bustle of life and a chance to spend more quality time with the family, for others it has been an incredibly lonely experience away from coworkers, friends, and those they love and need most.

In addition, and to make matters worse, loneliness can make managing stress more difficult. And let’s be honest, we are all surrounded by stress these days from worrying about when the world will open up again, when we can start working and earning a living and when life will get back to normal.

Fighting Loneliness in Healthy Ways

Sadly, during times like these, many people turn to alcohol and other substances as a way to cope with stress and loneliness. But there are healthier ways you can fight it.

Plan to Stay Connected

During this time it’s important to create a plan to safely stay in regular contact with family and friends. If you are an older person, be sure to confirm who you can reach out to if you need help getting food, medications, and other supplies.

Leverage Technology

While many of us still cannot be in the same space as our loved ones, we are very lucky we live in a time when phones and digital technology can help us all stay connected. Be sure to schedule regular phone calls and online video chats using apps like Skype or FaceTime.

Get in Touch with Old Friends

Most of us, at some point in our life, lose touch with friends and acquaintances we once shared our lives with. Now is the perfect time to reconnect. And social media makes it very easy to find someone you may have lost contact with years ago.

Seek Help

During this pandemic, many counselors and therapists are helping clients via telehealth services. This means instead of going into a therapist’s office, you can speak to them on the phone or over a video conference. A therapist can help you navigate this forced isolation and offer coping strategies to get you through.

If you or someone you love is having a difficult time dealing with loneliness right now, please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

SOURCES:

Filed Under: General

Choosing Love and Gratitude over Fear

March 16, 2020 by Debbie Gentry Leave a Comment

With the escalation of fears over the CoronaVirus, we can get lost in the feelings of being overwhelmed and powerless. While focusing on our physical care is important, we also need to focus less on fear and more on love and gratitude. Fear makes it difficult for us to see clearly and to listen with our heart. Love weaves and connects. Love reminds us that we are all in this together and when one of us suffers, we all suffer. Gratitude reminds us to focus on what we have instead of what we are lacking. When we practice being grateful, fear cannot survive.

Today, examine if you are speaking words of fear or speaking words of love and gratitude. We have the power to choose our responses and our actions to this virus. For the next few weeks, redirect your fear to the opportunity to love yourself and others and to be grateful for what you have been given. May we all remember we are intricately connected and how we react will determine the outcome of this virus.

Filed Under: General

Response to the CoronaVirus

March 16, 2020 by Debbie Gentry Leave a Comment

Like so many of you, I have spent the last several days and weeks learning about the coronavirus and how it is impacting our world. With that in mind, I wanted to keep you abreast of my response to this threat.

I am closely following the Center for Disease Control and our state and local government guidelines and recommendations on the steps I can take to help prevent the spread of the virus.

I am wiping down all surfaces with Clorox after each visit.
I am washing my hands after each client.
I am practicing social distancing. When I sit in my chair, the distance from the couch to the chair measures 6 feet, 3 inches.
I will greet you either with a bow or an elbow shake – no hugs or handshakes.
If you are ill, please stay home until you feel better.

For this reason, I will remain open to serve you in person. I am also verifying with the insurance companies that they will cover on-line visits in the event the outbreak escalates to a point where meeting in person is no longer feasible. When I have definitive information, I will get back with you. I would also recommend you check with your insurance company to see if your plan covers ”Tele-health” for behavioral health providers.

Please know my primary purpose is to help you stay safe. In the event, you have any questions, please let me know.

Filed Under: General

Senior Dating: 4 Tips to Finding Your Silver Mojo

March 11, 2020 by Debbie Gentry Leave a Comment

Dating. It’s not easy at any age, but it can be downright tough for those in the 60+ category. The world has most likely changed significantly since the last time you may have dated. You yourself have also changed. Love, loss, careers, raising a family, etc. have all impacted who you are and how you feel about life and the world around you.

While it may feel intimidating at first, dating after the age of 60 can actually be a lot of fun. It will require you to perhaps adjust your mindset and find some courage, but once you put yourself out there, you might be surprised just how easy it is to connect with others in both platonic and romantic ways.

Here are some dating tips to get you started:

Practice Smiling

Many people, as they get older, smile less. Perhaps they are missing loved ones who have passed, are struggling with retirement, or are in chronic physical pain. But smiling is something that lights up our faces and instantly attracts other people to us. If you feel you haven’t been smiling as much as you used to, get back into the habit. Watch some favorite comedies, hang out with your grandkids more often and play with the neighbor’s dog. The more you smile, the better you feel and more attractive you become.

Start a Conversation

Now is not the time to be shy. If you see someone that catches your eye while out at a coffee shop or standing in line at the grocery store, strike up a conversation. You could say something as simple as, “Are the bagels good here” or “I always seem to pick the busiest times to shop.” The idea is to simply start a conversation and see where it goes. If nothing else, you may make some new coffee shop friends!

Focus on Your Interests

You’ll have a better chance of meeting a potential partner who is like-minded if you focus on your interests and hobbies. If you like art and culture, then spend more time at museums or the bookstore. Are you a dog nut? Then perhaps volunteer at a local animal shelter. Focusing on your own hobbies and interests will bring you joy at the same time, and that joy will make you incredibly attractive to others.

Go Online

Sites like Match.com and EHarmony.com make it incredibly easy for you to look for potential dates online. You can browse hundreds of profiles at your own pace and reach out to those people who strike your fancy. Don’t assume that online dating is for younger people. It’s for anyone with an internet connection and a desire to meet people.

If you follow these tips, you’ll have no problem meeting new and wonderful people. And who knows, one of them could be that special someone.

Filed Under: Couples/Marriage, General

5 Warning Signs It’s Time to Try Couples Counseling

March 4, 2020 by Debbie Gentry Leave a Comment

When you first fell in love, you could never imagine that someday the sound of your partner chewing could make you want to scream. It’s inevitable that once we are out of our honeymoon phase and reality sets in, we realize that all relationships take work and compromise. But while some couples may hit bumps in the road every so often, other couples find themselves in bigger trouble, with neither party knowing exactly how to fix things.

If you are in a relationship that is no longer feeling healthy, here are 5 warning signs that it may be time to try couples counseling:

1. There is No Longer Healthy Communication

Once you have a communication breakdown, you are unable to rationally share thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other. Beyond this, unhealthy communication tends to leave one or both partners feeling depressed, angry and hopeless.

2. Trust Has Been Broken

When there has been infidelity, it is very difficult for the couple to rebuild trust and repair the damage. While there is no magic pill to recover from an affair, a therapist can offer tools and strategies to rebuild trust.

3. You’re More Like Roommates

If you and your partner act more like roommates than romantic partners, this indicates a lack of intimacy and a potential need for professional help.

4. One or Both of You Has Begun Acting Out

You try to mask your real feelings for as long as possible, but then you start to act out the hurt and resentment you may be feeling. For instance, if your partner has been unfaithful and you have agreed to stay in the relationship and work things out. But over time you find yourself lashing out, acting rude and trying to make them believe you are having an affair so they will feel the same kind of hurt. This acting out is unhealthy for both people and is a BIG indicator you need to seek some help.

5. When the Only “Solution” Seems to be Separation/Divorce

A break from negative energy can be very helpful to the relationship. But when a temporary break leads to more and more time away from home and someone renting their own apartment, this indicates a need for counseling. Spending time away from home usually doesn’t lead to any real resolution, just more distance.

If you and your partner are interested in exploring treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Couples/Marriage, General