Senior Dating: 4 Tips to Finding Your Silver Mojo

Dating. It’s not easy at any age, but it can be downright tough for those in the 60+ category. The world has most likely changed significantly since the last time you may have dated. You yourself have also changed. Love, loss, careers, raising a family, etc. have all impacted who you are and how you feel about life and the world around you.

While it may feel intimidating at first, dating after the age of 60 can actually be a lot of fun. It will require you to perhaps adjust your mindset and find some courage, but once you put yourself out there, you might be surprised just how easy it is to connect with others in both platonic and romantic ways.

Here are some dating tips to get you started:

Practice Smiling

Many people, as they get older, smile less. Perhaps they are missing loved ones who have passed, are struggling with retirement, or are in chronic physical pain. But smiling is something that lights up our faces and instantly attracts other people to us. If you feel you haven’t been smiling as much as you used to, get back into the habit. Watch some favorite comedies, hang out with your grandkids more often and play with the neighbor’s dog. The more you smile, the better you feel and more attractive you become.

Start a Conversation

Now is not the time to be shy. If you see someone that catches your eye while out at a coffee shop or standing in line at the grocery store, strike up a conversation. You could say something as simple as, “Are the bagels good here” or “I always seem to pick the busiest times to shop.” The idea is to simply start a conversation and see where it goes. If nothing else, you may make some new coffee shop friends!

Focus on Your Interests

You’ll have a better chance of meeting a potential partner who is like-minded if you focus on your interests and hobbies. If you like art and culture, then spend more time at museums or the bookstore. Are you a dog nut? Then perhaps volunteer at a local animal shelter. Focusing on your own hobbies and interests will bring you joy at the same time, and that joy will make you incredibly attractive to others.

Go Online

Sites like Match.com and EHarmony.com make it incredibly easy for you to look for potential dates online. You can browse hundreds of profiles at your own pace and reach out to those people who strike your fancy. Don’t assume that online dating is for younger people. It’s for anyone with an internet connection and a desire to meet people.

If you follow these tips, you’ll have no problem meeting new and wonderful people. And who knows, one of them could be that special someone.

When you first fell in love, you could never imagine that someday the sound of your partner chewing could make you want to scream. It’s inevitable that once we are out of our honeymoon phase and reality sets in, we realize that all relationships take work and compromise. But while some couples may hit bumps in the road every so often, other couples find themselves in bigger trouble, with neither party knowing exactly how to fix things.

If you are in a relationship that is no longer feeling healthy, here are 5 warning signs that it may be time to try couples counseling:

1. There is No Longer Healthy Communication

Once you have a communication breakdown, you are unable to rationally share thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other. Beyond this, unhealthy communication tends to leave one or both partners feeling depressed, angry and hopeless.

2. Trust Has Been Broken

When there has been infidelity, it is very difficult for the couple to rebuild trust and repair the damage. While there is no magic pill to recover from an affair, a therapist can offer tools and strategies to rebuild trust.

3. You’re More Like Roommates

If you and your partner act more like roommates than romantic partners, this indicates a lack of intimacy and a potential need for professional help.

4. One or Both of You Has Begun Acting Out

You try to mask your real feelings for as long as possible, but then you start to act out the hurt and resentment you may be feeling. For instance, if your partner has been unfaithful and you have agreed to stay in the relationship and work things out. But over time you find yourself lashing out, acting rude and trying to make them believe you are having an affair so they will feel the same kind of hurt. This acting out is unhealthy for both people and is a BIG indicator you need to seek some help.

5. When the Only “Solution” Seems to be Separation/Divorce

A break from negative energy can be very helpful to the relationship. But when a temporary break leads to more and more time away from home and someone renting their own apartment, this indicates a need for counseling. Spending time away from home usually doesn’t lead to any real resolution, just more distance.

If you and your partner are interested in exploring treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.